The Past Never Dies It Kills
by Let-The-Darkness-Take-Me
Summary: Songfic to Missing by Evanescence. Kagome is sick and tired of not having Inuyasha's love. I don't own Inuyasha or the song Missing


**This is my first fanfiction and I hope everybody likes it. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the song Missing by Evanescense**

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The Past Never Dies… It Kills

Kagome woke up around 2 a.m. and quietly sat up and looked at her friends to make sure they were still asleep. Inuyasha was mainly the one she had to worry about. She carefully slid away from Shippo and out of her sleeping bag. She silently and carefully dug around her backpack and when she got what she wanted she stood up and walked away from her friends and into the woods to find the lake they had seen earlier that day.

Inuyasha heard a rustling and opened his eyes to see Kagome sitting up and looking around. Right before her gaze turned to his; he closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. When he felt her gaze leave his face he opened his eyes and watched her slide away from Shippo and rummage around in her yellow bag in curiosity. When she stood up and walked off silently Inuyasha waited until she was far enough away that she couldn't hear him, but not so far away he couldn't see her. He jumped from tree to tree following her and noticed that she was headed toward the lake.

When Kagome got to the lake she sat down on the grass right in front of the water. She leaned back to look up at the stars and thought about everything that had happened in the past year. Meeting Inuyasha, having Kikyo resurrected, Naraku and his schemes, his reincarnations, Sesshomaru, her friends, everything. Then her eyes welled up with tears and she started crying, thinking about Inuyasha and how much he loves Kikyo and not her and she thought about her family and how much she loved them. Then she started to sing.

When Inuyasha saw Kagome sit down on the grass right in front of the lake he sat on the branch of the tree he was in and watched her. He was confused. He had no idea she would get up in the middle of the night and go sit by the lake. All of a sudden he smelled the salty tang of tears and his ears perked forward when he heard her soft voice start to sing.

**Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again.**

**Maybe someday you'll look up and barely conscious, you'll say to no one**

"**Isn't something missing?"**

Kagome hoped her family wouldn't miss her to much and if they did she wanted them to be able to forgive her for her sin. She wished she didn't have to do it but she was heart broken and miserable and she just hoped they would move on. Inuyasha listened to her voice and stared at the back of her head in confusion at her words.

**You won't cry for my absence, I know.**

**You forgot me long ago.**

**Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant?**

**Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?**

Kagome knew Inuyasha wouldn't miss her. He didn't care. He was in love with Kikyo and she knew she wasn't important enough for him to think about her. True he was protective of her but that was explained with her being his jewel detector. He had admitted it himself. Inuyasha was listening to the words and trying to make sense of them.

**Even though I was sacrificed, you won't try for me, not now.**

**Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. **

**Isn't someone missing me?**

Kagome remembered when Urasue had robbed Kikyo's grave and tried to bring her back to live to manipulate her into doing her bidding. She kidnapped Kagome and tried to sacrifice her so that Kikyo could have her soul to fill the clay doll. Kagome remembered how Inuyasha had tried to save Kikyo even though she had attacked him and Kagome knew he hadn't really cared about her. Inuyasha was staring somewhat wide eyed and he was leaning so far forward he almost fell off the branch so in order to get closer he jumped down and hid behind a bush. Kagome was still crying as he could still smell her tears and her regular smell seem a little tangy like she was distressed.

**Please, please forgive me but I won't be home again.**

**I know what you do to yourself.**

**I breathe deep and cry out**

"**Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?"**

Kagome was thinking about how families mourn their dead and what they do and wanted them to know that she was sorry for doing this. Inuyasha sat in confusion running the words through his head trying to figure out what it all meant.

**Even though I was sacrificed, you won't try for me, not now.**

**Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.**

**Isn't someone missing me?**

**And if I bleed, I'll bleed knowing you don't care.**

**And if I sleep just to dream of you, I'll wake without you there.**

**Isn't something missing? Isn't something….**

Kagome was thinking about what she was going to do and how Inuyasha wouldn't know. He would still be sleeping soundly back at camp most likely dreaming of Kikyo. Kagome was also sick and tired of dreaming of him and during the day seeing how distant he was when in her dreams all of his attention was on her. She didn't want to dream like that anymore and have her heat break more than it had. Inuyasha listened attentively and gasped with his eyes widening when he realized she was singing about him. He was confused, shocked, and scared at what she meant with this song.

**Even though I was sacrificed, you won't try for me, not now.**

**Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.**

**Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?**

Kagome cried harder and held out the razor blade she had taken from her backpack. She took a deep breath and used it to cut into her left wrist as hard as she could. She felt and heard a slight pop that was her vein bursting open. She quickly switched hands and jammed the razor blade into her arm tearing it up in her anger at Inuyasha. She actually had hoped he would come before she did anything but just like always she was disappointed.

Inuyasha was sitting on the ground behind the bush thinking over Kagome's words and all of the meaning behind them when he smelled the coppery tang of blood. His ears perked forward and he peeked through the bush to see Kagome just sitting there. He did notice that she was slightly hunched over and her left arm was moving back and forth. At first he didn't know what she was doing until he saw blood soaked into her skirt. He gasped and sprang forward calling her name.

Kagome dropped the razor blade when she heard rustling in the bushes to her left and heard Inuyasha scream her name. She turned to face him just as she felt dizzy and fell backward onto her back. Inuyasha crouched down beside her and when Kagome looked up into his beautiful golden eyes she saw fear and what she could have sworn was love but she put that to a hallucination.

"Kagome! What have you done?" Inuyasha asked as he lifted up her mutilated wrists and licked them. He thought that the enzymes in his spit might help stop the bleeding but she had hit the vein and it wouldn't stop without special care and it was too late to get her anywhere before she bled out. When Inuyasha realized this his eyes welled with tears. Kagome smiled at him.

"Hi, Inuyasha. I didn't think you'd come." Kagome said in a small whispery voice that Inuyasha would have had trouble hearing without his sensitive hearing. "I was hoping but I thought I was just deluding myself." She said and laughed so softly it was just a whisper of air. The tears in Inuyasha's eyes welled over and slid down his cheeks. He slowly brought his clawed hand up to her cheek and caressed it with his thumb.

"Why, Kagome? Why did you do this?" He asked her. She smiled and lifted her hand up to his face. She grimaced with the effort but she wanted to touch him.

"I did it, Inuyasha, because I was sick and miserable knowing you don't love me. I couldn't stand knowing that I was second best to a clay doll with part of my soul and hundreds of other girls' souls." She said softly and tears spilled out of her eyes and fell into her hair. Inuyasha looked at her with a tender expression on his face.

"Why didn't you just go home instead?" He asked. Inuyasha's hand had come up to stroke the hand on his cheek and when she tried to pull it away he tightened his grip on it.

"Because I couldn't go home. I can't forget how much I love you Inuyasha. Not in life anyway. So I decided the only way would be to die." She said softly. Inuyasha could feel his heart break and he turned his face into her hand and kissed her palm. She sighed softly. Inuyasha could feel her starting to slip away.

"**If I bleed, I'll bleed knowing you don't care…**" She sang softly. Inuyasha's eyes snapped with anger.

"Don't say that! You can't even imagine how much I care about you! In fact I love you Kagome!" Inuyasha said and blinked with his eyes wide at the revelation. Kagome smiled and laughed softly.

"Looks like it really does take dying to know you love me." She said. Inuyasha gave a dry laugh and massaged the back of her hand with his thumb feeling the heat from her body slowly go away and be replaced by cold. More tears spilled from his eyes.

"Kagome I don't want you to leave me. Please." He pleaded. Kagome rubbed his cheek with her thumb and he could see the energy it took to do so on her face.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha. It's too late but now I can leave this world knowing that I was loved in return." She said. Inuyasha looked in her eyes and slowly leaned down and kissed her cool lips. He felt a shaky smile grace her lips and he tried to make the kiss the best kiss she ever had. He licked the seam of her lips and felt her mouth open slightly and he slipped his tongue inside. He felt her give a breathy moan while he explored her mouth with his tongue.

Kagome couldn't believe Inuyasha had actually said he loved her and she couldn't believe it was taking her death for him to realize and admit it. But then she guessed that whole "You don't realize what you have until it's gone" thing was true. She could feel her life slowly slipping away with her blood and was surprised and happy when Inuyasha kissed her. At first she hadn't really believed he loved her. She thought he just didn't want to lose his jewel detector until she saw the love in his eyes and felt it in his kiss. She closed her eyes and felt more tears squeeze past her eyes. Inuyasha pulled away slightly and Kagome opened her eyes to look up into his beautiful golden eyes. He looked sad and scared. Kagome's lower lip quivered.

"I'm so sorry Inuyasha. I wish I could start over but I can't." She said. Inuyasha kissed her again.

"It's not your fault Kagome. It's mine." He said. Kagome gasped when she felt her life about to end. She looked up into his eyes again and knew that he could see that she was about to die. He quickly scooped her up into his lap. And picked up her hand and nuzzled it against his face.

"Inuyasha, please tell my family I love them, I'll miss them and I'm so sorry. Tell everyone back at camp that I'm sorry and tell them I love them." She said as a last plea. Inuyasha nodded and kissed her lips and then leaned his forehead against hers crying harder.

"Inuyasha?" She said right before she went.

"Yea?" He asked looking into her beautiful brown eyes.

"I love you so much, and I'm sorry." She said and smiled. He smiled back and kissed her. He heard her sigh against his lips and she went limp in his arms. He hugged her body to him and cried harder.

"Kagome. I love you so much. Please come back to me." He said. He waited a few minutes with her cold limp body in his arms. He gave a heart wrenching sob and stood up with her in his arms and walked back to camp. His tears dripped down his face and onto her chest as he walked. He thought back on all the times they'd had together and the ones involving Kikyo and remember all of the hurt, broken hearted looks on her face. Then the song she sang echoed through his head.

**Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again.**

**Maybe someday you'll look up and barely conscious, you'll say to no one**

"**Isn't something missing?"**

Inuyasha slowly walked into camp to see the others still asleep. He called their names and they slowly stirred.

**You won't cry for my absence, I know.**

**You forgot me long ago.**

**Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant?**

**Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?**

As they sat up and rubbed their eyes they looked to see Inuyasha carrying Kagome. To them she looked like she was asleep though very pale.

**Even though I was sacrificed, you won't try for me, not now.**

**Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. **

**Isn't someone missing me?**

Miroku saw the blood on her clothing and Inuyasha's face as well as his clothes and he gasped and looked up at Inuyasha's face in wide eyed confusion. The others heard Miroku's gasp and looked where he was looking and their eyes widened as well.

**Please, please forgive me but I won't be home again.**

**I know what you do to yourself.**

**I breathe deep and cry out**

"**Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?"**

Inuyasha walked right past them to sit down by the tree trunk he had been sleeping against before.

**Even though I was sacrificed, you won't try for me, not now.**

**Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.**

**Isn't someone missing me?**

**And if I bleed, I'll bleed knowing you don't care.**

**And if I sleep just to dream of you, I'll wake without you there.**

**Isn't something missing? Isn't something….**

Miroku had seen the truth in Inuyasha's eyes and in his tear streaked face. He turned to the others who looked at Inuyasha and Kagome with worry as they passed and they looked to him for conformation of what they thought they saw. He nodded solemnly.

**Even though I was sacrificed, you won't try for me, not now.**

**Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.**

**Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?**

Sango slowly shook her head as tears filled up her eyes and overflowed them sliding down her cheeks. She hid her face in her hands and shook with tears. Miroku crawled over to her and hugged her while tears fell down his own cheeks. Shippo looked at both of them and over to Inuyasha who was hugging Kagome to his body and tried to stay in denial of what was going on. Even so he slowly walked toward Inuyasha and Kagome on shaky legs and when he reached her he saw her whiter than white skin and pale blue lips. He didn't even need to touch her to know her soul had left her body. He threw his little arms around her neck and cried into her hair.

After a long time passed and their crying had died down Sango looked at the body Inuyasha refused to let go of and asked the question that was on everyone's lips.

"Why did she do that Inuyasha?" Sango asked him. He looked at Sango.

"She was sick of watching me with Kikyo and thinking that I didn't love her or care about her. It slowly broke her heart until she couldn't stand it anymore, but the ironic thing was that I realized how much I really loved her while her life's blood drained from her body and she slowly died in my arms. Now my heart is slowly breaking. I guess this is what I deserve." He said softly and caressed the cold dead cheek of his beloved. Sango and Miroku watched and instead of yelling at him that it was his fault they saw how much torment he was in and figured it was enough of a punishment.

"Kagome. Why did you have to die?" Shippo cried out and grabbed her left fist. He tried to open it so he could hold her hand and a small piece of balled up notebook paper fell out onto the grass. Shippo picked it up. It was slightly blood splattered. He looked up at Inuyasha. "Look." He said and handed it to him. Inuyasha opened it and straightened out the crinkled paper as best he could. His eyes skimmed over Kagome's flowing scrawl and he sat there in silence.

"Well what does it say?" Miroku prompted. Inuyasha handed it to them and they looked at it and then they all sat in silence pondering the words.

The piece of paper said:

**The past never dies… it kills.**

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**I have an idea for a sequel so please review and tell me if you liked it and I will start working on it. Thank you**


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